Breastfeeding Beyond Expectations

Photo by Stuart Milne, 2019

I never imagined our breastfeeding journey would last so long. Yet here we are more than two years later, despite the difficult early days.

To the people who ask me when we’ll stop, the answer I’ve settled on is when we are ready.

Whilst bouts of breastfeeding aversion are making me hope it’s soon, there are two of us on this journey and two who get to decide.

To the outsider looking in, it may look like a relationship of dependence, but it’s actually his long-term independence that I’m nurturing.

If we are lucky enough to be able to continue breastfeeding until he makes a conscious decision to self-wean (and I realise not everyone is able to get to this point), my hope is that he will do so with the strength of mind and lasting independence of a child who is truly ready to face what comes next. After all, true and healthy independence is something we choose for ourselves when we feel ready and equipped for it, not something that is forced upon us.

I didn’t always think this way, in fact, it was the failure of a premature attempt to wean that brought me here. Instead of focusing on just our needs, in that moment I ran ahead of myself and bowed to outside pressures. The ensuing four days of withheld milk hurt us both in ways I hope never to repeat.

Whilst the sharing of motherhood stories is crucial, our experiences are so varied I’ve learnt that it’s also important to realise we may not always find the answers to what’s best for us in the advice of others. Sometimes the most important voice to hear is your own, and of course your child’s.

An extended article based on this post appeared in print in Motherscope Volume Two: Choose Your Own Motherhood, December 2019.